press palava

PRESS: who broke down the walls of Jericho in the bible?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: i'm very-very sure is Governor Fashola. The Lagos State Governor.

PRESS: what???

PROF. HOLY ROCK: my prayer is, he should not break the walls of  Nigeria. Because Nigeria is very close to Jericho.

PRESS: why did you say so Prof.?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: someone who has broken almost all the walls in Lagos State, are there any order walls he can't break?

PRESS: please let's continue this interview next time.

............To Be Continued

THE HiLARiOUS BiBLE

""A man must leave his parent compound, and enter a Taxi to another compound, and Carry his wife to his own compound, and they shall become Mr. & Mrs."" (Genesis 2:24)

by PROF. HOLY ROCK

THE BiG GENERATOR (blessing)

There is somebody reading this right now. You have been using a small generator for the past 12 years;
The LORD said i should tell you, He is sending you a very big generator.

Meaning: GOD said He will do a better thing in your life

MY FiRST ViSiON FOR NiGERiA

""When i become the president of Nigeria, the first thing i will do is buy MOSQUiTO NETS and share to everybody. Because i love Nigeria but hate maleria"" by PROF. HOLY ROCK

Twitter ledgle: @profholy

EVEN GOD GOES TO THE OFFiCE

What GOD does at the office?
He thinks good thought about you. (Jeremiah 29:11)

For GOD to think about your needs, marriage etc He has to be at the office. Where His Angels will be with their laptops sending Him names of those whose prayers need to be attended to.

At evening, He closes from work and goes to relax at a revelatory place to refresh. This was why GOD drives to visit Adam in the garden at evenings. (Genesis 3:8)

YOU HAVE TO WORK. YOU ALSO NEED TO RELAX

PAYiNG GOD A ViSiT

#TheWaysOfaProfessor
...an atmosphere for laughter and insights
by PROF. HOLY ROCK
Twitter legdle: @profholy

""GOD has shown me favour""
Therefore, on the last day whilst am travelling to Heaven; i will buy shoes, italian suits, fruits, vegetables, krets of minerals and bottle water, Plasma Tv, DVD player, Mr. Bean comedy DvD, 'Ali Baba comedy DvD, Obus Zalee comedy DvD, Holy Malam comedy DvD, 1st Born, Cee...Y, Openteeth, MC Still Ringing comedy DvD (because GOD understands every language) and all other clean GOSPEL Nigerian comedians audio and video CD, put them in Ghana-Must-Go and carry to Heaven. So all the Angels will watch and ENJOY.

MEANiNG: people you do good to, will extend the goodness to you or your children's children.

I HAVE READ THE BiBLE FROM GENESiS TO REVELATiON

But, i was shocked when i saw India in the bible.
(Esther 1:1)

Now am studying harder to check whether i will see Ghana or Brazil.

(Even a slave can't be hungry in the kings palace. What is that thing you want? Know that your Father who lives in a three storey building in Heaven has it all. And He knows what you need)
 
           by Prof. Holy Rock
Twitter last bus stop: @profholy

THERE ARE BOYS QUARTERS iN HEAVEN

THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with Prof. Holy Rock
...an atmosphere for laughter and blessings

There was a rich man whose suits were italian suits. He had a special Aboki man who came everyday to polish his shoes. He lived at the Victoria Island.
Anytime he or his children were sick they fly overseas. But there was a beggar with wounds on his body who came to his gate everyday to look for food and help. This rich man never helped him.

SO BAD: dogs came and licked his wounds. Even chicken came and ate the flies that perched on his wounds.

BORN AGAiN: This poor man was a born-again but he never won any soul to GOD. And the bible says, "GOD will pay every man salary according to his productivity here on Earth" (Romans 2:6) taking from the Prof. Holy Rock Bible

THE BURiAL: This poor man (Lazarus) died and the Angels of GOD came with a private jet and took him to Heaven, but they kept him at Abraham's bosom (Luke 16:22). That bosom is known as, BOYS QUARTER.

THE Arrival: When you get to Heaven would you want to live in Father Abraham's, Isaac or Jacob's bosom?
Or you want GOD to give you your own mansion?

SCORiNG GOALS iNTO HEAVEN

THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with Prof. Holy Rock
...an atmosphere for laughter and blessings

Any soul you bring to GOD is a goal you have scored.
And GOD will call a DJ to come and blast music. His Angels will bring canopy and they will set it in front of GOD's compound in Heaven. GOD will invite an MC who will anchore the "soul winning ceremony" and the whole people in Heaven will gather to eat and drink mineral as they celebrate the goal you just scored into Heaven. (LUKE 15:10)

THE REAL GOAL: If you bring one soul to Heaven, you have just scored one goal.
If you bring two souls, you have scored two goals.

In this World Cup season in Brazil 2014, as you score temporal goals, also score the eternal goals. So that you shall also receive the eternal World cup of Heaven.

Hilarious videos that will make you laugh and get blessed coming soon

I say Amen to this

THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with Prof. Holy Rock
...an atmosphere for laughter and blessing

GOD told me clearly that there is somebody who has JERSEY but has no BOOT;
GOD said i should tell you that, He will give you a BOOT that is more than the one He gave to Jay-Jay Okocha.

Meaning: GOD said He will use you to do His work.