PROMO! PROMO!! PROMO!!!

...the ways of PROF HOLY ROCK are different and hilarious

To have the most UNiQUE COMEDiAN of the era spice and add huge colour to your event this 2014 Christmas season you can book today.

Church events: 100k
Social events: 200k
Corperate events: 300k
Mosque: 500k

Outside Lagos minus flight tickets.

You could call directly @: +234 818 3167 283, +234 803 9550 252
My Twitter does not have any handle: @PROFHOLY

I SPOKE WiTH GOD

...the ways of PROF HOLY ROCK are different and hilarious

Early this morning, I communicated with my DADDY who lives in a 3 storey building up-stairs, via the telephone. In our discussion i asked Him, "what could be done to kill all the MOSQUiTOES in Nigeria, Africa and the World in general." Whilst we were discussing my credit got finished. To my surprise DADDY called me back.

He said i should announce to everybody that MOSQUiTOES will always be there no matter how we try to kill them. But those who have and use their MOSQUiTO-NETs, will always overcome.

NOTE: ""Trials and temptations will always come, but the fact that you are glued to the World's best SAViOUR; by knowing and doing what the 'word' says, you shall always be FREE.

(PROF. HOLY ROCK is a: Comedian - Talents coach - Content creator and On-Air Personality)
Twitter legdle: @PROFHOLY
BBM Pikin: 74A3A144
#TheWaysOfAProfessor

ever green comedy - PROF. HOLY ROCK iN PRESS PALAVA

...laugh until heaven comes

PRESS: we want to hear your opinion on this matter Prof.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: i am poised.

PRESS: the bible always say that JESUS is coming very soon. 'why has He not come?'

PROF  HOLY ROCK: traffic.

PRESS: traffic? How?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: JESUS is on His way. And traffic warders all over the world - including Lagos State Government of Nigeria, need to send JULiUS BERGER and LASMA to clear the road.

PRESS: please, i don't get you Prof.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: John the baptist was the CEO of Julius Berger and traffic warding, and he really constructed the road during his tenure.(Mark 1:2-3)

PRESS: how did John prepare or construct the road?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: is in the chapter above but let me switch-on more electricity. He poured so many bags of Dangote Cement to smoothen the road. Including Federal road, State road and Street roads by entering Okada from junction to junction, house to house, he even went from school to school and was lecturing the 'word' to people. (Luke 3:3-4)

PRESS: wow. I can't believe this.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: John the baptist also came to Ajegunle, which is the Ghetto of Nigeria and was lecturing people to buy paint and repent themselves. (Matthew 3:1-3)

PRESS: you just talked about paint. Please, 'is there any paint that could be used to paint the body?'

PROF. HOLY ROCK: yes. The blood of JESUS.

PRESS: wow. We shall talk on that later. But 'how can people construct the road, according to you Prof.?'

PROF. HOLY ROCK: The Dangote Cement that is been poured everyday on our road is the WORD of GOD ministers preach everyday. And for the road to remain without any pot holes people need to drive gingerly.

PRESS: oh my GOD. Please what do you mean by 'gingerly?'

PROF. HOLY ROCK: carefully.
Always conscious of GOD. (Matthew 3:6)

PRESS: please give more light Prof.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: our life is the road. We need to construct our lives daily by living righteously and generiously. That way, it will be easier for JESUS to drive through the express road of our spirit, soul and body and come. Sin is the traffic holding JESUS. But whether sin or not He will still come, so is better you repaint yourself.

PRESS: so what are the signs that can make one know that he has JESUS?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: the person's name will change to Peace. Because he or she will have a wider orange. Sorry. A wider range of peace.

(Stay Tuned For More)
Twitter legdle: @PROFHOLY
#JuliusBerger #Dangote #Cement

italian suit

...laugh until heaven comes

TODAY'S PRAYER POiNT & KiLL: Father, please give me an italian suit. (PRAYER!!!)

The reason Jabez entered Okada and ran to GOD's office crying "Oh LORD, change my suit", (1st Chronicles 4:10) was because GOD had a boutique. And His boutique is still Open today.

I see GOD designing new Suits, Ankara, Jeans, T-Shirts, Polo and many order materials for somebody this week in JESUS' appellation.

Twitter legdle: @PROFHOLY
#ItalianSuit #GOD #Boutique

how to stop boko haram - PROF. HOLY ROCK iN PRESS PALAVA

...laugh until heaven comes

PRESS: What can be done to stop BOKO HARAM?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Let everybody in Nigeria run away. If BOKO HARAM stay for two Months and fineds nobody to bomb, then, they will repent.

(Stay Tuned For More)
If you loved 'i komole' by T.I.V, then download  T.I.V's latest single, TASTE EH. its hot and fresh. taste it. www.bit.ly/1nTJjQC

Twitter legdle: @PROFHOLY
#Nigeria #BokoHaram

THE BEST COOK iN THE WORLD

...the ways of PROF HOLY ROCK are different and hilarious

Which type of food did GOD cook in Psalm 23:5?

(a) Egusi soup
(b) Okoro soup
(c) Rice and stew
(d) Shawarma and Chicken chips
(e) All of the above
(f) None of the above

(The winner will receive an idea from GOD in a trance)

Twitter legdle: @profholy
#QuizEstate #Food

Electrician - THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with PROF. HOLY ROCK

TODAY'S PRAYER POiNT: Dear LORD, please make me an electrician. (PRAYER!!!)

NOTE: If GOD makes you an electrician you will never be in darkness because you will know how to connect wire.

The bible says, "you are the light of all the 7 continents of this World"" (Matthew 5:14 - THB version). And for you to be the light of the World, you have to first become an electrician. You must know how to fix lights.

And the only one who can help train you to becoming an electrician is no other person but our LORD JESUS CHRiST because He is the original light of the World (John 8:12)

I believe you are blessed just reading this. That is the aim of GOD via this ministry - THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL

It took hours of sleepless night to receive these revelations. If you are blessed, bless someone by distributing this Article to their phones, emails, radio, Tv and all. And as you sleep this night, my GOD will give you an idea that will perfect your life, ministry, business, Talent etc in JESUS' appellation/name.

Prayer For Single Men - THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with PROF. HOLY ROCK

TODAY'S PRAYER POiNT: Oh LORD! i want to marry a woman that anytime i hear her voice in the morning, i will increase my OFFERiNG. And when i look at her face, i just double my TiTHE, in JESUS Mighty name (PRAYER!!!)

Single men, pray this prayer seriously. And a single woman who wants GOD to bless her husband to the point he will be doing this should also pray - including married couples who need GOD to 'interview' their marriage. Sorry. To intervene in their marriage should also accelerate this prayer point.

Twitter legdle: @PROFHOLY
#SingleMen #SingleWomen #Couples
Highly Hilarious. Highly Serious

THiNGS MOST WOMEN DON'T KNOW by PROF. HOLY ROCK

TRY CALLiNG HiM: It had been said that a man should love his wife, but not for the man to always do the calling texting etc. Every woman wants a caring, romantic and always calling and SMSing man. But many if not all don't realise that even the man needs a woman who will do all that to him. Like; call him 12 times a day, be romantic to him, even while he is at work or where ever. It makes him work better and faster.

BE A PROFESSiONAL AT SOMETHiNG: Women, add value to your lives. No man with vision wants to marry a woman who has not even discovered her purpose or has a cool job or hand work doing. Even if a woman is not a graduate but she knows the computer, sowing and whatever trade very well and can read and write with a plan/strategy that will draw the World anytime, she will be valued even more than a graduate who doesn't have a plan and has not discovered her purpose.
"I prefare a drop out with a purpose to a graduate without one".

BUY SOMETHiNG FOR HiM: Shoes, shirts, etc. "Most women tell their man about their birthday 5 Months before the day". Women feel it is only the duty of a man to buy things for them.

""A woman who buys things for a man will easily get the man's heart.""

Joseph couldn't leave virgin Mary his fiancee when he found that she was 3 Months pregnant from another source because Mary showed him great love, took him to sight seeing, bought him things etc and gave him better ideas to take his carpentry business international.

""The woman who encourages a man to achieve a plan/vision etc, will be of great value to the man than gold""

NOTE: Joseph the carpenter did not have a television but he had vision and virgin Mary stood by him and gave him colossal support. Joseph had in mind to construct chairs for kings and queens according to (Proverbs 22:29) but he ended up doing far more. The bible says that Heaven is GOD's palace (Acts 7:49 - THB version). And in His palace, He sits on His throne. The throne that GOD seats on was contructed by Joseph the carpenter but he achieved that because a kind woman stood by him.

HOW DiD JOSEPH ACHiEVE THAT? if you are a carpenter and you are living a righteous life, industrous and excellent at your handwork, it means you are constructing a Throne for the Almighty GOD.

""Go into the World and preach the Gospel"". You can preach the Gospel been a carpenter. I will talk on ""HOW YOU CAN PREACH THE GOSPEL WiTH ANY GiFT YOU HAVE"" one of these days.

So women, if you can't encourage and support all men, the one that you feel you love, try encouraging him from now. He also needs your encouragement.

You are BLESSED

Twitter legdle: @profholy
#ThingsWomenDon'tKnow

MOSQUiTO-NET - The Hilarious Gospel with Prof. Holy Rock

TODAY'S PRAYER POiNT: Father, please give me the type of Mosquito-Net that you gave to Peter's mother-in-law in Matthew 8:14-15.

JESUS came into Peter's one bedroom and saw his mother-in-law had malaria. Thank GOD JESUS had malaria tablet with Him; so He gave to her, she drank it with pure water and immediately she became well. And then, she entered the kitchen and cooked indomie instant noodles for JESUS and everyone around.

NOTE: As JESUS was about to enter a taxi to go for other ministrations (He went about doing good) He gave her a Mosquito-Net. So that Mosquito will not bite her again as long as she sleeps inside that mosquito-Net.

Ladies and gentlemen, we must always pray for GOD'S protection because the prayer we prayed yesterday may not be enough to keep us for tomorrow. That is why, even FACEBOOK, BBM, TWiTTER etc keep updating.

We need the JESUS Mosquito-Net to protect us from the evil that fly at night. And pray that GOD continues to keep us inside His net in JESUS' name. PRAYER!!!

Twitter legdle: @profholy
#Prayer #Mosquito-Net

PROF. HOLY ROCK iN PRESS PALAVA - Heaven

PRESS: Welcome again to today's show, Prof. Holy Rock.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: I am happy to be on your TV show. Is just that, viewers are seeing me, but am not seeing them.

PRESS: (LoL) How do you expect to see viewers from the studio?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Because everything is possible.

PRESS: (LoL) well, before you make me laugh and forget my question for today's interview, let me just ask. 'everybody wants to make Heaven, 'Do you also want to make Heaven?'

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Ofcourse! I want to travel to Heaven.

PRESS: Whatever. Whether travel or make.
So why do you want to travel to Heaven?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Because there is no Mosquito, no House Rent and no NEPA Bill in Heaven.

(Stay Tuned For More)
Twitter legdle: @profholy
BBM: 74A3A144
#Heaven

TEACH ME HOW TO COOK - The Hilarious Gospel with Prof. Holy Rock

TODAY'S PRAYER POiNT: O LORD, teach me how to cook the type of food that you cooked in Psalm 23:5. (PRAYER!!!)

Every single lady need to take this Prayer very seriously and to the married women who want GOD to improve their cooking style, so their husbands will enter Okada and start rushing home immediately after work; should also pray this PRAYER seriously. Please, as you are Praying, also be cooking something. And use gas cooker. It will let the Prayer get to Heaven faster.

""i see GOD reveal to some women another unique type of food that has never been cooked anywhere in the World before""

Twitter legdle: @profholy
#TheHiariousGospelWithProf.HolyRock
#TeachMeHowToCook

PROF. HOLY ROCK iN PRESS PALAVA - Pastor E.A. Adeboye

PRESS: Why are you not very excited on today's show?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: I am excited. Is just that early in 2014 Daddy E.A. Adeboye asked us to do 100 days fasting.

PRESS: That's through.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: What am thinking now is; How are we sure that next year, he will not ask us to fast for 'one year'.

(Stay Tuned For More)
Twitter legdle: @profholy
#PastorE.A.Adeboye

TRAFFiC iN NiGERiA

PROF. HOLY ROCK iN PRESS PALAVA

PRESS: On today's show, even the President of Nigeria, and other Presidents of the World have tuned in to hear your advice on 'HOW TO TERMiNATE TRAFFiC iN NiGERiA'

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Are you sure they are tuned-in or they have gone for meeting?

PRESS: They are tuned in.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: How did you know?

PRESS: iT was said yesterday at the National Assembly that i should host you again and they will all listen to you.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Well. Whether they are tuned-in or not, as long as they follow the instrumentation. Sorry. The instruction, things will work.

PRESS: So, as a well educated Professor, 'What Do You Think Could Be Done To Terminate Traffic All Over Nigeria?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: The only thing that can stop traffic in Nigeria, is for everybody to 'pack' their load and travel to another country.

PRRSS: What! What now happen to the other country?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: iF they ask for advice, they will get.

PRESS: But it is of no use for everybody to travel out of the country.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: That is the only solution my dear.

(Stay Tuned For More)
Twitter legdle: @profholy
edifytv.blogspot.com
#TrafficiNNigeria

FiRST TO SEE JESUS

PROF. HOLY ROCK iN PRESS PALAVA

PRESS: Welcome to the show Prof.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Thanks a gazillion.

PRESS: On todays show we want to hear your view on, 'Who Will Be The First To See JESUS' when He come?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: The first people that will see JESUS are 'security men'.

PRESS: Why security men?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Because JESUS will come at mid night.
(1st Thessalonians 5:2)

(Stay Tuned For More)
Twitter legdle: @profholy
edifytv.blogspot.com

JESUS ViSiTED NASARAWA STATE - The Hilarious Gospel with Prof. Holy Rock

  (Matthew 13:53-56. THB version)

Verses 53: the next day after JESUS finished ministering at a church where He was invited, He entered Taxi and traveled back to His village.

Verses 54: when JESUS got to His village He organised a three (3) Months seminar and thought on, 'how to meditate on the word'. His uncles, villagers and elders of the land where suprised and said to each other, don't you think this small boy has gone to collect charm, that is why He has so many trailers of wisdom and doing these strange wonders?

Verses 55: Is He not the son of the man who repairs our chairs? Is His mum not the slim woman that sells roasted plantain at the bus stop? And His brothers James, Joses, Simon and Judas?

Verses 56: With His sisters, Fatima and Ngozi that stay with us in this Nasarawa State/Nazareth? Who gave Him the Energy Drink to do all these things?

""being a Bus Driver does not matter, as long as you know where you are driving to""

Twitter Office: @profholy
#THB

How To Make Peace At Home (part 1)

PROF. HOLY ROCK iN PRESS PALAVA
...laugh until heaven comes

PRESS: What could couples do to have peace at home?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: They should have a generator.

PRESS: Generator? Why did you say so?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: Because women are attracted to light.

PRESS: Please explain.

PROF. HOLY ROCK: If a woman wants to cook rice and stew for her husband, exspecially at night, if NEPA takes light she will change it to jellof rice if there is no generator.

(Stay Tuned For More)
*Twitter office: @profholy
#ProfHolyRockInPressPalava
*FB: HolyRock Dracomedist

press palava

PRESS: who broke down the walls of Jericho in the bible?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: i'm very-very sure is Governor Fashola. The Lagos State Governor.

PRESS: what???

PROF. HOLY ROCK: my prayer is, he should not break the walls of  Nigeria. Because Nigeria is very close to Jericho.

PRESS: why did you say so Prof.?

PROF. HOLY ROCK: someone who has broken almost all the walls in Lagos State, are there any order walls he can't break?

PRESS: please let's continue this interview next time.

............To Be Continued

THE HiLARiOUS BiBLE

""A man must leave his parent compound, and enter a Taxi to another compound, and Carry his wife to his own compound, and they shall become Mr. & Mrs."" (Genesis 2:24)

by PROF. HOLY ROCK

THE BiG GENERATOR (blessing)

There is somebody reading this right now. You have been using a small generator for the past 12 years;
The LORD said i should tell you, He is sending you a very big generator.

Meaning: GOD said He will do a better thing in your life

MY FiRST ViSiON FOR NiGERiA

""When i become the president of Nigeria, the first thing i will do is buy MOSQUiTO NETS and share to everybody. Because i love Nigeria but hate maleria"" by PROF. HOLY ROCK

Twitter ledgle: @profholy

EVEN GOD GOES TO THE OFFiCE

What GOD does at the office?
He thinks good thought about you. (Jeremiah 29:11)

For GOD to think about your needs, marriage etc He has to be at the office. Where His Angels will be with their laptops sending Him names of those whose prayers need to be attended to.

At evening, He closes from work and goes to relax at a revelatory place to refresh. This was why GOD drives to visit Adam in the garden at evenings. (Genesis 3:8)

YOU HAVE TO WORK. YOU ALSO NEED TO RELAX

PAYiNG GOD A ViSiT

#TheWaysOfaProfessor
...an atmosphere for laughter and insights
by PROF. HOLY ROCK
Twitter legdle: @profholy

""GOD has shown me favour""
Therefore, on the last day whilst am travelling to Heaven; i will buy shoes, italian suits, fruits, vegetables, krets of minerals and bottle water, Plasma Tv, DVD player, Mr. Bean comedy DvD, 'Ali Baba comedy DvD, Obus Zalee comedy DvD, Holy Malam comedy DvD, 1st Born, Cee...Y, Openteeth, MC Still Ringing comedy DvD (because GOD understands every language) and all other clean GOSPEL Nigerian comedians audio and video CD, put them in Ghana-Must-Go and carry to Heaven. So all the Angels will watch and ENJOY.

MEANiNG: people you do good to, will extend the goodness to you or your children's children.

I HAVE READ THE BiBLE FROM GENESiS TO REVELATiON

But, i was shocked when i saw India in the bible.
(Esther 1:1)

Now am studying harder to check whether i will see Ghana or Brazil.

(Even a slave can't be hungry in the kings palace. What is that thing you want? Know that your Father who lives in a three storey building in Heaven has it all. And He knows what you need)
 
           by Prof. Holy Rock
Twitter last bus stop: @profholy

THERE ARE BOYS QUARTERS iN HEAVEN

THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with Prof. Holy Rock
...an atmosphere for laughter and blessings

There was a rich man whose suits were italian suits. He had a special Aboki man who came everyday to polish his shoes. He lived at the Victoria Island.
Anytime he or his children were sick they fly overseas. But there was a beggar with wounds on his body who came to his gate everyday to look for food and help. This rich man never helped him.

SO BAD: dogs came and licked his wounds. Even chicken came and ate the flies that perched on his wounds.

BORN AGAiN: This poor man was a born-again but he never won any soul to GOD. And the bible says, "GOD will pay every man salary according to his productivity here on Earth" (Romans 2:6) taking from the Prof. Holy Rock Bible

THE BURiAL: This poor man (Lazarus) died and the Angels of GOD came with a private jet and took him to Heaven, but they kept him at Abraham's bosom (Luke 16:22). That bosom is known as, BOYS QUARTER.

THE Arrival: When you get to Heaven would you want to live in Father Abraham's, Isaac or Jacob's bosom?
Or you want GOD to give you your own mansion?

SCORiNG GOALS iNTO HEAVEN

THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with Prof. Holy Rock
...an atmosphere for laughter and blessings

Any soul you bring to GOD is a goal you have scored.
And GOD will call a DJ to come and blast music. His Angels will bring canopy and they will set it in front of GOD's compound in Heaven. GOD will invite an MC who will anchore the "soul winning ceremony" and the whole people in Heaven will gather to eat and drink mineral as they celebrate the goal you just scored into Heaven. (LUKE 15:10)

THE REAL GOAL: If you bring one soul to Heaven, you have just scored one goal.
If you bring two souls, you have scored two goals.

In this World Cup season in Brazil 2014, as you score temporal goals, also score the eternal goals. So that you shall also receive the eternal World cup of Heaven.

Hilarious videos that will make you laugh and get blessed coming soon

I say Amen to this

THE HiLARiOUS GOSPEL with Prof. Holy Rock
...an atmosphere for laughter and blessing

GOD told me clearly that there is somebody who has JERSEY but has no BOOT;
GOD said i should tell you that, He will give you a BOOT that is more than the one He gave to Jay-Jay Okocha.

Meaning: GOD said He will use you to do His work.

""The SALARY of sin is death"" (Romans 6:23)
Taken from the PROF. HOLY ROCK BiBLE

You can't be studying this Bible and fall asleep. It is the first ever World Hilarious, Unique, inspiring and Captivating Bible

HOLYROCK TV: ""Last Sunday my Pastor said we should give our he...

HOLYROCK TV: ""Last Sunday my Pastor said we should give our he...: ""Last Sunday my Pastor said we should give our hearts to GOD, so am going to the hospital now to remove my own heart. So i can br...

""Last Sunday my Pastor said we should give our hearts to GOD, so am going to the hospital now to remove my own heart. So i can bring it to church on Sunday and give to GOD"" by PROF. HOLY ROCK

""If you want GOD to answer your prayers very fast, send your prayers through DHL"" by PROF. HOLY ROCK

"Many people don't DREAM at night because of MOSQUiTO" (Matthew 8:14)

...Peter's mother-in-law had a dream of doing Omuquo for her daughter when she gives birth but Mosquito almost truncated her dream. If not for JESUS who came and gave her Maleria tablet and she cooked pepper soup for JESUS and everyone present.
GOD will give someone reading this message a Mosquito Net and sickness will never come near you again. by Prof. Holy Rock

Prof. Holy Rock @ NJOY SEASON 6 ,April 2014

Prof. Holy Rock @ NJOY Season 6 (Elevation   Church)

Prof. Holy Rock @ Grace Assembly

  Prof. Holy Rock @ Grace Assembly, Lagos. April 27th, 2014